Super Mom: Part 5 (Final One)

A BIG thanks goes out to my Momma for doing this...I plan to make copies of these questions and put them all in a book for each one of my family members...sometimes being annoying and asking lots of questions works for the good:)  Thanks all of you for being so sweet with your compliments...she kept asking me...is anyone reading this?  Or do you think they will think I am bragging?  Oh and I wanted to add one more thing that I loved my parents doing... They interviewed us after the first day of kindergarten- it is such a cute video- I love it...totally going to interview my kids every few years.  Here are the past Super Mom posts...in case you are just reading these for the first time:)

Part One

Part Two

Part Three

Part Four

How did you prepare yourself before having quads?  Billy and I began to journal as soon as we knew we were having 4 babies. There were so many emotions, it was therapeutic to write about it. We read what we could about multiples, and as mentioned, my doctor recommended the triplet mom. She and her husband were a huge source of encouragement during my pregnancy and afterwards. Diet during pregnancy- the same as before, except as I grew and grew I could not eat as much because I was so "full of baby". But I drank a lot of 2% milk-I mean about 1/2 gallon a day- trying to give the babies as many nutrients as I could! ( I didn't think of Ensure or other supplements at the time and all my doctor said was "Keep doing what you're doing", as he was encouraged about their condition through frequent ultrasounds.) Fortunately I didn't have to be on strict bed rest. He said, "listen to your body- when you're tired, rest". So I rested a lot! In the mean time, we were making plans to add on to the house

 
In what ways did Dad help you? What advice would you give young dads?  Billy was my rock. Emotionally, he's always been there for me. As far as helping with the kids from infancy and up, cooking, even housework--he's always pitching in. I am especially happy that our boys have seen this example, and our girls-well, they have high expectations for a husband who is like their dad in those ways. Advice to young dads: be a hands-on dad and help your wife when you can. Billy always says, "When Mom's happy, everyone's happy."

As a side note to young moms, brag on your husband in front of your children. Verbal appreciation goes a long way.

How did you take care of yourself and your marriage with 6 kids?  I'm not sure how well I've done with taking care of myself. As moms, we tend to put everyone and everything else before ourselves. Emotionally, I have taken care of myself by trying not to take on too much. (I am not supermom.) I was fortunate to stay home with the kids for 17 years. Four years ago I went back to work, but only working one or two days a week. (It comes in handy when a car needs repairs and the dryer goes out at the same time.) This job has been ideal for me since the quads are still at home attending community college. They will be gone in a blink and I enjoy those fleeting conversations, or sometimes lengthy ones, and being able to cook a dinner here and there for them. One of my favorite ways to spend some "me time" through the years has been eating out with friends. These connections have been vital to my sanity! Try to make time for yourself. If your spouse offers to watch the kids for an hour--let them. Marriage and 6 kids-- Occasionally, the stress and exhaustion of raising 6 little ones got to us. We knew it could affect our marriage too, if we let it. So it was, and still is, so important to communicate...and to take little trips! Sometimes your spouse needs you to remember their life with you before children came on the scene. They were there first, after all. Don't wait for the "perfect" time; a short 24-hour trip doesn't require a lot of money or planning. This sends a message to your spouse that he/she is important to you, and that it's not always about the kids. Anyway, it made us better parents when we could get a break now and then. Date nights are also a good idea, but we rarely did that until the 6 were older. I highly recommend that too!

What advice could you give to friends and family of the new mother… what helps the most- giving food, helping with laundry, coming over to help?  Every mom and every circumstance is different; as to what their needs are. In our case, it was food. The sweet ladies from church sent a meal every Wednesday and Sunday for about 3 months! That was the best thing anyone could do for us; all that feeding and changing babies made us ravenous! My mom and Billy's mom were taking turns staying here one or two weeks at a time. Also, Billy's work paid for a friend to help us Sunday through Thursday nights for the first 3 months. She helped with the 2 feedings at night and folded laundry for us. We were so thankful for all the assistance those first months after bringing the little ones home! One of the hardest things for us was having to rely on others for help with our own kids. Sometimes in life we are on the receiving end and have to depend on others. This was one of those times. A dear friend once told me, "When people want to bless you by doing something for you, let them. Don't steal their blessing." Well, we learned to receive, but it was a great feeling when the quads were 4 months old and we could send our family and friends home. We thank God for getting us through-then and since- and for all the encouragement and prayers of so many!

In what ways do you think a parent can make their child feel important and special?  What I do know about making a child feel important is that money is not required. The things our kids talk about are things like individual birthday cakes and birthday dinners with the "special plate", chocolate candy on Valentine's Day-even in their 20's, a card with encouraging words when they feel unlovable, even Mom proofing high school research papers, or Dad teaching them how to budget. I think anytime our children recognized that we were "busy" but still made time to do "whatever" for them, made them feel important. There are no huge stand-out things, but I know that taking the time to listen and encourage, and trying to lead them down the right path (though not always appreciated immediately), show that child they are loved and special.

Lana, thank you for making me do this..in case I never get around to writing that book. Kind of you to think of your young-mom friends. Hope it was helpful. I love you! Mom